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The Etiquette Expert Says...
By:
Sharon Naylor, Author of "The Essential Guide to Wedding Etiquette"
How do you politely and properly ask friends to take lots of photos at your wedding? If you're not allowed to make requests about gifts, how can it be correct to ask people to bring their digital cameras and take extra pictures during your big day?
The answer is threefold:
- The people you ask are those closest to you, the ones you could say anything to. You don't have to mince words or worry about them taking offense. These are friends you might have previously asked to pick you up at the airport or to watch your house or pets while you're away. A simple, "Hey, would you bring your camera to the wedding to get some extra photos from your perspective?" is all the proper request you need. It's fine to explain that the professional photographer will be tailing you all day and night, and you have confidence that your friend will get the perfect pictures of your shared group of friends or relatives.
- You're not asking, nor requiring, them to ‘work' your wedding. Assure them that you do have a professional photographer or two) on the scene, so they don't have to pressure themselves to be everywhere or to avoid going outside or to the restroom for fear of missing a big moment and stranding you with no image of, say, your bouquet toss. Just say, "Take photos whenever you'd like, just during the reception, just during the afterparty, whenever." And assure them that you're asking several different guests to bring their cameras, too, so this is a zero-pressure situation. Show them SeeYouThen.com so that they know where their photos will end up, and how easily they and everyone else will be able to view them.
- You'll thank them afterward with a thoughtful gift, such as a framed photo of her with her date or spouse. Make it a photo she didn't take at the wedding, as a surprise. With everyone getting new outfits and dressing their best, including guests' kids, framing that gorgeous photo of them is a terrific gift. Perhaps your single friends would like to use them for their online dating profiles, so show them your SeeYouThen.com site so that they can surf for any additional photos to use on their social networking sites or professional websites. Another idea for rewarding your photography team is giving them gift cards to a favorite restaurant so that they can have a nice dinner out, on you. If you know your friend's favorite beauty salon, why not give her a gift card for a treatment? Bottles of wine are classic gifts, but since you have so many fantastic photos in your account here, it's natural to customized a photo-centric gift to your wonderful volunteers.
As a few rules of guidance:
- Ask two to three different people in each social or family circle to bring their cameras and snap some photos of the wedding events
- Be prepared to hear people say No to your request. Some guests may not want to bring their pricey digital camera to your outdoor or beach wedding for fear of it getting ruined, and some may not like the idea of leaving their camera at the table while they're dancing. Accept a No graciously and move on to your next volunteer candidate.
- Disclose the conditions of your wedding to all of the people you'll ask. They really should know about the outdoor setting in July, the beach wedding, etc.
- Offer to pay for a new photo card or batteries as a polite and proper consideration.
- Place a printed card on each guest table, reading, "We don't want to miss a thing on this beautiful day, so we would love you to take plenty of photos for us and post them to our SeeYouThen.com website." At the exit of your wedding, provide business card-sized printouts of instructions and the URL to your site. Guests often get their shots online in a day or two, which means you get to see them right away!
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